Further Reflections of a New Graduate

Posted: May 15, 2012 in Uncategorized
Tags: ,

It’s hard putting your life on hold. I see friends having babies, buying houses and it is hard to know that yes we put our lives on hold for my career.

What would you do for a job you love?

On the other hand I am thankful that we never rushed into marriage. Currently I have more friends who are divorced or going through divorce then who have had successful marriages. I begin to wonder what causes divorce. I think part of it is people rushing into marriage, not viewing it as a lifetime commitment but seeing it rather as something that you do once you hit a certain age.

I guess I am old fashioned in my views. I believe that marriage should be between two adults. It should be something that is done out of love for best and for worst. I think that you really need to know the person you are marrying, don’t rush things. If you see marriage as a lifetime commitment what difference is waiting a year to get married in the whole scheme of things?

I wasn’t mature enough to get married until I was in my mid twenties, and even now I am different now then I was 4 years ago. I’ve grown and matured. We were dating for almost 6 years when we got married. We knew each other fairly well, we had dated other people and lived in our first apartments with roommates.

I think we were at a good place in our lives to get married. We didn’t rush things. I look at the friends getting divorced and I think about how some of them really rushed into things. Started dating, got engaged, married and pregnant within a year. Can any relationship survive all that change in such a short time?

Children put a lot of stress on a relationship, I think that a relationship needs to be strong before children are brought onto the scene. In today’s world with all that we know about conception there also shouldn’t be any of these surprise babies. Use protection people. I am sick and tired of the ones who were surprised they got pregnant. Well were you having relations without taking any precautions? Then don’t be surprised when 9 months later comes little jimmy or sara.

That being said at almost 30 years old, it gets depressing to know that because I chose to go to school and get a career we might never have children. Our student loan debt is crushing. It makes it impossible to go out for coffee let alone even consider children.

I get disgusted by the people who say “oh there never is a perfect time for children” well that may very much be true, but having 6 figure student loan debt makes it nearly impossible. They say, oh you will find a way. I hate to tell them, children cost money, I don’t want to have children I can’t afford to give to them what they need.

I admit to sinning, being envious of those who are able to have children, who go on these great vacations and seem not to have a care in the world. It is very frustrating. I want to live my life, I want to start my life. I am tired of always waiting. I am just getting older and older. I want children, okay. But life is not fair and we can’t.

 

Sometimes I really hate being so realistic and not being a dreamer.

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